NEW YORK, NY: "Permanent Salutations and Warm Cinnamon Buns to you" (10/01/09)

I've gotten in trouble at work for being a little casual/enthusiastic in my emails. I feel like, with the example this guy sets, I have something to which I may aspire.

(Emails courtesy http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com/, image courtesy www.wikipedia.org)

From: reto.*****@****.ch
Subject: 1966 A-code Mustang GT in show-ready condition
To: info@******.com
Date: Wednesday, July 1, 2009, 8:59 AM

Hello I am interested in this 1966 Mustang GT convertible. Send me please detail photo of the vehicle on the email reto.*****@****.ch
Is the car accident free? Numbers Matching? Detail photo of the engine and transmission as well as of the axles. Does air conditioning system have? Thank you

Von: Doug
Gesendet: Mittwoch, 1. Juli 2009 18:46
An: Schläpfer Reto
Betreff: Re: 1966 A-code Mustang GT in show-ready condition

Hi, Mobi,

I can assure you with many confidences this vehicle meets all rules of excellency and is very reliable car to show. I can send many detailed pictures upon your permissions to show how beauty and fun car will be for you. I require 400 lbs sterlings oranges in payments up front, with full delivery prices included in price. You will not be in not love with this really not unlovable vehicle I can promise. For only 400 lbs magnets sterlings oranges silver you can own this car clear and frees. You can reach me by emailing me at: forehead.magnets.plates.skulls@unnecessarysurgery.dr. I look happy to receive your reply at an earlier yesterday.

Yours in true honesty and reciprocatedness,

Maglio FattSac

From: reto.******@***.ch
Subject: AW: 1966 A-code Mustang GT in show-ready condition
To: “Doug”
Date: Thursday, July 2, 2009, 12:58 AM

Good mornings,
Please send me detail photos of the engine, transmission, axles and the under ground on this email address. If everything in order is buys I this Mustang. How much does HP have this engine?
Is the car accident free? Numbers Matching? Does air conditioning system have?
Please answer my questions. I expect gladly the detail photos.

Thank you

Greets Reto

Permanent salutations and warm cinnamon buns to you, Mobi!

Please to forgive my latent mustaches as I spent the entire 4 yesterdays having a custom turbin mounted to by nogginnessness. I shall replies with ardent fervor as to the ongoingness of our binding contracteds.

I rush answers to inside your now questions:

1) This mustang of beautiful powerful is very. It is rated at 250 HPs, better to say as “horse phalluses.” To you means that goezit hardly slow, and stops for pretty girl horses that have gasoline in their farts. Ooooooh buddy! You will love her long time.

2) The car does not have some accidents, but I have to charge you an extra 50 lbs magnets/dresses/used motors oil/silver/goblets if you need me to wreck up the car for you first. I don’t like that. Sad to me it makes.

3) This numbers all same matching, but you can taste them yourselves when you see car in people. I like to emboss my words with rotary republic and flied lice if you wish.

4) Air conditioning system she did get divorced from high horse phallus Mustang too many moon units ago. To install new one that eats hot airs is no problemo for new $25 metal plates/pocket fuzz/apple cider/monies/buckets (sterlings). You have like nice air conditionings, Mobi? I do. But my peepee go shrinky doodle when too cold it gets.

For to send multiply pictures of undergrounds is fatt. You like to see what I sends, never not dislove this lovey dovey wovey shovey.

I will eat some Greets Reto, too, Mobi! It’s yummy! I smell sideways to the next talks we constipate over Mustangs. Perhaps I can poop a valve cover into our emails.

Sparingly Sarcastic Anon,

Maglio Fattsac